Monday, June 16, 2008

It's another one of those days. One's where I follow up something I loved with something I hate. I haven't even started yet and I can already tell I'm not going to be very pleased with what I write. Might as well jump right into it.

Bridezillas.
Man this show is fucking hilarious. I just want to know when it went from a white show to a black show. I'm not kidding. The last five or six episodes I've seen were nothing but super ghetto black people.

On this particular episode there is this big, ashy, dark skinned girl with a gap. However, she is not the bride. She is the wedding planner. I guess she is one of the bride's friends that is trying to become a wedding planner, so she offered to plan the wedding for free to gain some much needed experience. The bride is soooo hoooooood! (in the t-pain voice) She is from Houston and every time she opens her mouth there are captions that show up at the bottom of the screen. I find that to be hilarious and racist. Just because they have an accent doesn't mean they have to add the captions on the bottom of the screen for everyone to read. I don't see them doing that for the slew of English host for just about every damn show on television. I can't understand a fucking word that bitch says on "So you think you can dance?" Anyway, the hood ass bride is arguing with her dark ass wedding planner for just about the entire episode. I'm pretty sure they get in a shoving match at some point.

The reception is nothing I've always dreamed mine to be, but I can't say I even have a vision. So the thirty minutes is up and thankfully the next episode continues with yet another super ghetto black bride and finishes up with Kenya and Roland. Kenya's wedding dress has cut outs on the side like those girls from LA's prom dresses. You know the ones I’m talking about. Thank the lord she doesn’t have waterfall curls or banana peels on top of her head. Every scene in this episode Kenya has a new weave from dirty nappy ponytails to long silky and a blonde. Look kids if you don’t purposely tan, do not color your hair blonde. Roland has to be my favorite of the night. He is wearing a Kangol hat and all white. Did I tell you guys I hate seeing guys in all white at a wedding? I mean its bad enough half these hos walking down the aisle are wearing white but you know his ass isn't a virgin. I am almost positive he's Mexican but trying to pass for black. Maybe he's Puerto Rican. They're black right? Anyway he's sagging his pants and he bought his shirt from the big and tall store and dude is all of five six on a good day, with heels on. Speaking of which, this dude has on the most hood Stacy Adams I've ever seen. They have a little baby heel on the back to make him a little taller than Kenya. He didn't bother to conceal his tear drop tattoos on the corner of his eye, but I guess I wouldn’t either if I knew who was attending the reception. The place they are having their reception looks like the YMCA. There are five or six tables, people shooting dice in the corner, and a guy with a 2X tall white-t on. There is a big woman in a jean skirt and jean jacket and the wedding planner is getting ashier by the moment.

By the end of the show Kenya is crying and just wants to go home and Roland is happy he came up on some money during the dice game. Roland’s brother ended the show by giving a toast. Whoever has the job of writing the captions didn’t know what the hell Roland’s brother was saying because underneath every phrase was question marks. I guess I'm kind of mad that I'm watching this because its stereotypical black people doing what they do best, acting ignorant. But it’s something like a train wreck you don't want to watch but you can't keep your eyes off it.

On writing late.
I've noticed that after each post I'm happy with I tend to just run out of gas. I can't ever write two blogs back to back I'm happy with. It’s really frustrating but I'm sure that will come with time. Another thing I've noticed is whenever I don’t have anything great to say I'm always up late forcing something out. I'm not even home right now, writing on my phone forcing something out. Because I know, the minute I get home I'm going to try and "rest my eyes" and we all know that doesn’t work. I'll fall asleep and then BAM! 8:30. No post.

On accomplishing goals.
Obviously I am going to do exactly what I set out to do, but day by day it seems as if it gets harder and harder. A goal of 100,000 words is ambitious but 100,000 words about something you haven’t even thought up yet is hard. I don’t think I can handle too many more of these bummy blogs if I want to improve. It feels like two steps forward and two steps back. I just hope I can end up all the way around the track by summers end. Shout out to my friend for setting a goal for himself too. He’s trying to make 35,000 shots this summer. I think he said he was at 562. I’ll keep you guys posted on his success. I told him about my goal and he said that was easy. When we got off the phone he asked me what my total was. I told him around 13,000 he said, “Cool. So by the time I call you back I’ll have that many a’s on a page. You said words right?” I offered to rebound for him for five hundred makes. He better help me out with some of these damn topics.

On Jay-Z.
I’m very surprised that 10 post in and still no Jigga Man. I’ve actually started writing about him but couldn’t keep it because it just wasn’t right. It’s kind of like writing about basketball for me. I don’t ever want to half step. But isn’t that with everything? I watched half of Fade to Black today. Once I actually finish the movie I will definitely get started on my why Jay-Z matters segment. I’m actually pretty excited about it. I haven’t seen the movie in a very long time so it just reminded me why I love Jay so much, and why that’s still one of my favorite movies. I am almost positive I’m going to start with Reasonable Doubt. You know, explain the significance, and run down some difficult lines, the whole nine. So keep a look out.

2:14 am.
I’m heading to bed now. With maybe 1,200 words today, and each of them worthless, I refuse to waste any more time and words. I guess since today was bad tomorrow will be great.

Until thoughts meet words…
(I’m doing away with the Peace and Love, too cliché)


(14,372 words and counting... )

2 comments:

Zach Harper said...

Personally, I think it's good that you aren't happy with your stuff back to back. You never want to get comfortable with your writing in my opinion. Having high expectations for yourself is the only way to improve.

Bridezillas is fucking crazy. My girlfriend watches just about every crazy ass wedding show on TV. But she stopped watching Bridezillas because she couldn't take those bitches anymore.

I love Fade to Black and love Jay. I think he's a great rapper and even his poppy mainstream stuff is catchy as hell. I think that people confuse his poppy stuff with Nelly's poppy stuff. Fade to Black is a great film that lets you in on the creative genius. To watch the process for him coming up with lyrics for a song, virtually on the spot, is absurd. Kingdom Come was extremely disappointing, but Reasonable Doubt and the Black Album are two of my favorite albums of all time. I can't wait for your blog about him.

I think this was an extremely solid post. Your take on Bridezillas was fantastic and you persevered through mental fatigue and frustration to bang out 1200 entertaining words.

Anonymous said...

Hey chica,

As much as it takes out of you - you always you manage to make me laugh out loud.

Bridezillas is a show for maniacs who think they can come on T.V. yell, scream, and cry to get their way and think that ish is cute. I'm not having it. That just isn't real life - I haven't seen one clip that actually seems anything like reality. At least not mine.

NTM