Of all days I decide to come back I pick today. What is supposed to be the most uncomfortable, awkward day of this year. Valentine's day used to mean the world to me, but that was ages ago. Now, especially as of late, I am embracing this whole single life thing, and not in the sense that you all may think. No. I'm not going on crazy amounts of dates. No. I'm not the "I don't need no man" woman. No. I'm not spending all my free time with my "girls" and not having a care in the world. I am just being me. Getting my priorities straight. And most of all, finally letting go of the past. I watched the movie Serendipity today and realized in the past week its been my life. Something I should have known all along and something I will know for the rest of my life. Instead of second guessing myself I'm reassuring that I made the right decision. In the past week I fell in love with me, all over again. With the help of a new friend I realized that almost always, what you think to be true is and how you are/were acting probably wasn't as bad as they made it seem, and even when you don't see the forest through the trees, it's still there. I'm over. over. over. being forced to feel like the felon. I'm over. over. over. being forced into this role that someone thinks I'm playing. Newsflash. I'm not a felon and I'm not playing the role you wrote for me. I'm playing the role I wrote for me. And guess what? I love that role.
So.
Now that that's out of the way. IM BACK. I hope for good this time but I doubt it. I barely have time to write things that are graded let alone things that aren't. But, in a big way, bigger than most of you would know, I'm back. I promised myself I wouldn't, and couldn't for that matter, blog while my mom was sick. Good news is she's not anymore. Well for the time being. Valley Fever ain't no joke. LOL But seriously, Mom is off the "anti-terrible" medicine she was receiving three times a week that literally put her to sleep for the entire day. I didn't see nor interact with my mother for three full days a week. It got to the point where I would just sit in her room and stare at her, wishing she had the energy to talk back to me. I guess I can write about it now because she's better. God knows I couldn't have done it during that time. But like I said, she's better now and I'm happy about it. Little things like a hilarious conversation we had on Monday make me cherish the time I have with her. Who could ever say a conversation that has,"shut up!, Get off my back!, and you're stupid!" would be the highlight of my life. But that's just us. Me and my mom that is.
So.
I'm at work. And I'm low key mad about it. Then I had to realize ... I only have to show up to this job 8 times a month. Why the fuck are you mad? Maybe because it's all star weekend. Good news is I caught the dunk contest and I loved it. I always was mad because the "stars" never entered the contest, well this new wave of "stars" anyway. The dudes who think they don't need silly things like dunk contests. But these are the same dudes who grew up watching the real stars in those silly things. That's probably why they are playing basketball in the first place. Well, tonight made me retract any time I was ever mad. Ever. Those guys put on a show. Nate Robinson?! Who is he? He's every short man's dream thats who he is. But he still is a nobody. He'll never make an all star team, ever. But for one night of the year, that nigga is the man. So let little man get his shine on.
So.
Yesterday I watched the movie Juice. For any of you who know me very well,imagine me telling you that and laughing hysterically at the end of the sentence. Like right around the part where i say the, and so on and so on. Ellen and I sat in her dope house with the mutant lemons and watched the movie Juice. And best part about it is half way through the movies we went to Michael's bought some beads, and made necklaces like Q was wearing during the Mix Massacre. I'm going to wear them until someone other than Ellen says, "with ya juice beads." Promise.
So.
With the battery life dwindling I'm must say I'm going to end here. If you can't tell I'm rusty let me be the first to tell you. With time, I'll be back to my rib eating, syrup stealing, big crayon box telling self. Just give me a minute.
