I'm BAAAACCCKKK!

"When I come back like Jordan wearin' the 4-5"

I'm back. And as my man Jigga said... like "Repeat-Three-Peat MJ" not that dude who was trying to revive a franchise. (But let's be honest I love him just the same).

I was planning on waiting until school started back to come back to this lovely place I call home. However, on my way to work today I was getting an itch to see who, if anyone at all, left me a comment on my blog saying something... anything, that I haven't read yet. Well to my surprise there was a comment left that almost made me run right off the freeway.

Comment # 1: I've been checking your blog almost everyday of summer to see if you are going to make your goal of 100,000 words by the end of the summer. (Obviously I'm not there yet since I've taken about two months off) I think you're weak for not committing to your goal.

Now that was the line that really got me. I mean, I actually got angry because someone had the nerve to call me weak for not "committing to my goal". I'm not even going to go into detail of the summer I've had, or what I've been doing for the past two months because really, when it comes to this writing thing, all of that is irrelevant. So, let's just say I'm back. And you better believe I'm going to be better than ever. I've crunched the numbers and did the math. I'm currently at 20,760 words and with exactly two weeks left of summer I have to write at least 5,660 words a day to reach my goal. Doubt me if you'd like, but just know I feed off of those who doubt me. So with that being said: I'm back.

Let me catch you up.

So for those of you who don't talk to me on a regular basis and have been missing all my sarcastic words and thoughts allow me to catch you up on what's been going on in my life.

Aside from all the usual friend drama, and me caring a bit to much for too many people my mini me has moved away. Yup. My one and only side kick, my little brother. I took him to CSUN three times in a four day period to get test taken, orientations done, and yes the dreaded move in day. His roommate has a car so he's of course stupid excited about that. His "girl" is living across the parking lot (finally one I approve of). And after calling him everyday of his first week he finally realized he can't live without me either. He loves one of his classes and that's more than any of us expected and practice starts in two weeks. I'm happy he has the opportunity I passed up and is doing exactly what he was born to do. Be a collegiate student athlete. I'm sure within the next month I'll be down there numerous times to visit, at least until school starts anyway. Speaking of school starting...

While I was waiting for those long agonizing four hours at lovely CSUN while my brother took his placement test, I did come very acquainted with the campus and figured out a way to keep my little close to me. Move there after graduation. Duh. Of course for the past year and some change I had my heart set on attending my favorite college, USC, and graduating from one of the best communications programs in America, but then I realized I don't want to be in debt $120,000 for two years of my education. So I came back to square one, graduation creeping up on me faster than I'd like it to and no direction in site. I roamed through the campus, looking for anything to do because the minutes were moving slower than molasses. I found my way to the Communications department to get some much needed information. I took a look at the program and fell in love, especially with the $4,000 a year tuition price. One of my dear friends and first boss in the wide world of full time jobs is the GM of my old home Hollister in Northridge so looks like all the pieces are falling right into place. So what do I do now? Bust my ass in these classes for the next year and a quarter and rack up as much extra curricular activities as possible. Finally I'm in a place where my priorities are straight and life is looking up.

Maybe that two month break was needed. I mean, sometimes you have to step outside of yourself to realize where you are or where you're going. Not to worry about those who don't matter and keep those who do close to you. That's where I am now. Keeping those who do matter close to me and keep on pushing through the next thirteen fourteen months of my life. These are going to be the most crucial. What I can do during this time, will tell the tale of the rest of my life. They will be the framework for this house I'm building and it's only up to me how strong it will be. Right about now, life is good and I'm happy.

Things happen for a reason.

I swear things always happen for a reason because these past two months everything has started making sense. What I'm supposed to do with my life, who's supposed to be there, why family is the most important thing to me. I'm just a big ass ball of excitement right about now and don't really know what to do with myself. It took my brother going to Northridge for me to figure out that is the best place for me to get my masters. It took my mother being sick for me to realize it's not so bad being home right now, and it took my grandmother being sick for me to know how to deal with my mom. I mean it's been a roller coaster of emotions for me these past few months and everything kind of just coming to head when I found out my Mom wasn't getting any better. I went from the hard exterior girl who never cries to the one who was crying if you even moved your mouth to say mom. You didn't even have to be talking about mine and I was crying. But like I said, things happen for a reason. Maybe my mom being sick was showing me that everyone is vulnerable. Even those who you look at as superheroes. God knows I think of my mom as so. I haven't quite figured out why Mom isn't getting better but look at the bright side, if she would have had Valley Fever in any other city in America she would be in even worse shape. Thank God she's in the city where it has the best specialist in the US. The only place it originates from. The good ol' Kern Valley. That's what I'm thankful for.

As far as friends go, I've been keeping my distance from them too. Partly because I'm going through this phase where I won't let my mom out of my sight. Partly because that's just me. Sometimes I need a break. I need to just be alone sometimes. I just want to relax and chill out. You know, watch The First 48 with a big bowl of pop corn by my damn self. I don't want to answer the phone. I don't want to go out. I just want to lounge in my PJ's and hit the sack by nine. Maybe that means I'm getting old...

My birthday.

It's my 23rd birthday kids. Well not today but in 21 days it will be. I'll be the big 2-3. I can't believe it. I'm so proud of myself. I'm in school. No kids. And I'm only 2 years away from being a quarter of a century. I feel wiser this year. I feel like I learned something the past year. Like the tattoo on my back makes sense now. I'm learning from the first 22 years and moving forward to make this 23rd a good one. I'm excited about this year to come.

Other things I've been working on.

Did any of you see the ESPY's? Well if you didn't, boy did you miss out. JT hosted the show and was hilarious. I'm pretty sure I watched it three or four times laughing just as hard as the first. But aside from being funny I did learn a thing or two that really catapulted me into my latest project. Tommie Smith and John Carlos received the Aurthur Ashe award. Now if you don't know who these guys are don't feel too bad because as much as I'm ashamed to admit it. I did not know who they were by name either. But does the 1968 Olympic games ring a bell? They are the two black men who thrust black gloved fist in the air during the national anthem and was consequently banned from the Olympics for life because if it. I was fascinated by the story and have really emerged myself in research since the airing of the show a couple months ago. (That's another reason why I've been absent) I took a trip to the library (more on that later) and really fell in love with the topic and their struggle. I've read four books and countless articles about the subject and really have been fortunate about the connections and the people willing to help me with this project. If all goes well I'll get to interview these guys and hopefully write one of the best pieces I've ever written. Senior Sem, here I come.

So as the cramps continue to ache my hands I'm leaving for now. I'll be back. Probably three or four times a day until my goal is met. And anonymous... I hope you keep reading. Nobody calls me weak and gets away with it.

22,435... 14 days to go... 77,565 words left...